Kingmaker

Game Night 17 (12/20/12)
Half-Elf, Half-Rabbit

So after the resounding success of our first attempt to gain access to the Stag Lord, we decided to have a more formal plan. We were going to attempt access through the hidden door Megil and Oligo found, and barring that we were going to have Oligo climb the wall and send us rope down to help the rest of us climb up.

We decided to go by the cover of night in order to avoid detection. As we were rounding the fort we saw 2 people escaping the fort, they must have heard that I was coming. To make a boring story short, Megil helped us avoided detection getting to the door, and opened it. However, when opening the door the guards did manage to hear us and got a couple shots off on Oligo.

We found ourselves in a room that was obviously meant to hold things at one point, but nobody had been there for a great while. Megil helped us get out of the room without detection again, and that’s where things got interesting. There was a long and bloody battle that ensued. It started with us dispatching a few bandits relatively easily. Then Megil decided to take things in his own hands and jumped onto a 15 foot ledge, making it look so easy a caveman could do it. He then cleaved a giant barbarian in 2 with one shot, making a bunch of the bandits flee in terror. While Megil was having his own adventure, the rest of us destroyed the bandits on our level. As Megil was chasing down the last bandit in sight (having once again jumped over 15 feet onto a bridge), 2 things happened that almost worried me.

  1. Megil chased the bandit down the stairs, which riled up a dozen or more bandits, including one Falgrim Sneeg
  1. The Stag Lord showed up, and started tearing the shit out of us.

The Stag Lord proved to be almost as spry as Megil, and he started almost dancing around on the roof where Megil jumped to. One of the prettier bandits pushed Tabal off the ledge as he was trying to climb up to get to the action, but then he seemed to be betrayed by one of his own, and the pretty man pushed on top of Tabal. The betrayer then started attacking the other bandits.

In the end, this battle was won not with steel and badgers, but with magical blades and wands. Not that stupid cure wand I got from Oleg. It’s probably defective, so I gave it to Tarquin to try and use. But with good, old arcane magic.

We managed to finally take out the Stag Lord, save the turncoat, knock out, but not kill Falgrim Sneeg, and take out all the bandits who didn’t flee from my might. The only real casualty was the Stag Lord knocking Megil unconscious right before Oligo put a couple arrows into his eyes.

Once again, the group was lucky to have me there to protect them. With a little more work, Megil could be almost as powerful as me, but his limits of having to use a sword will never let him surpass me.

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Game 16 12-13-2012
Epic Fail

We found the Staglord’s lair easily and I thought we had a good plan to gain access. We were going to poise as bandits or was it traders and kill ’em all. Looking back we probably should of put more thought in our disguise rather than the kill ’em all part of the plan. Maybe we were to over-cofident or brazen, but things went to shit fast. The secrect password “By the bloody bones of St. Gilmorg” had no effect on the bandit guards and we were met with arrows. Somehow the remaining bandits have heard of us and know our faces, but my instincts were right and the Whorelord and his men are scared shitless of us.

Anyways after the guards raised the alarm and started shooting arrows my brave companions fled like children. I was close to climbing the wall, but turned back once I realized I had no support. One little 15 foot wall and they piss themselves. Oh bother…

Later after we rallied, Megil and I were able to sneak up to wall on the south side and find a hidden passage way. Again the fucking guards miraculously detected us and started shooting arrows. Oh bother…

All I have left to say is this, “Listen up, bandits. I know where you live and I’ve seen where you sleep. I swear to everything holy that your mothers will cry when they see what I’ve done to you!”

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Game Night 15 [12/6/12]
T-words

With the Stolen Lands nearly plotted, we figured a rest at Oleg’s would do some bodies good, except for Jhod and Tarquin. Jhod had to stick around the temple to Erastil and make with the divine inspiration and needed a little more magic to make it happen I expect. Too bad that magic had to be Tarquin, the best man to stitch up yours truly again after a bloody bout.

The next bit I’m a bit fuzzy on, most like due to too many blows to the head and other vitals. We’d been avoiding a four troll party around these parts, having seen ‘em a couple time already, and havin’ the good sense to avoid em’. Too bad one found us, least I think it did. Head still hurts. Hulking green bastard screamin’ “MEAT!”, and launchin’ wrist-thick arrows into my favorite torso, I didn’t think we’d talk our way outa this. And if the gods have a say in the lives of man, I’m pretty sure they said “Fuck You.” to every one of us. Butterfingers all around. T’was like watchin’ crippled babies tryin’ to kill a moose by cryin’ it t’ death. Bein’ the whiniest little babe in this tussle, after some kind of crushing blow, everything went dark again. Was only after I came to, they told me they damn beast ran away. Didn’t use too much of that wand on me. Figured after that display, if I couldn’t hold my own again I might as well be dead. Oligo’s way is startin’ to look prettier and prettier.

After binding my wounds a bit, we made our way south again. We found some kind of wolf or fox, or whatever. A thylacine, Oligo called it. Regardless, poor beast was stuck in a pit, just like Megil and me a few seconds later. I was feelin’ a bit restless, so I split the beast and called it. Beast was dumb enough to fall in, so we figured it too dumb to cook either, not to mention it had no meat on it. We kept on, coming upon a nice big bush of what turned out to be fangberries, just the kind that old saggy sack Bokken was lookin’ for. After a bit o’ trouble with some spiders, we managed to harvest a few bagfuls.

We found our way to a small river, and eyes caught a little something we’d hope to find again, a Tatzlwyrm, head and all. A little more gold never hurt, so we rushed in aiming for blood. Almost half my guts were inside me again, so I was ready for action. Vistos found his way pretty quick into the maw of one of them, another having burst from their den. I cut the little bastard free, too bad the wyrm head got ruined in the cleave. The gods are true cunts sometimes. We cut down the other, sparing the head this time. Wyrms must’ve eaten a few travelers before us. Best eyes amongst us caught some shiny in the weeds, and found some old fool had himself eaten, rich fool though. Took the dead’s glittering armor and some other goodies, and made our way out.

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Game Night 14 (11/29/12)
I'm Keen On Exploring

After our run in with the seemingly peaceful boggard we continued to explore this “interesting” land. At the edge of the forest we came upon a statue to Erastil. I’m not sure why everyone in these neck of the woods would worship such a creature, but I’m guessing Stagman is trying to pass himself off as directly connected to him. Such tricks won’t work on someone as bright as me.

After our extremely restful nights rest around this statue we continued exploring the other side of the woods. One of the tall ones happened upon the burial place of a barbarian. They then dug him up for his treasure. While it seemed like a weird thing to do, these bunch do seem to have some sort of obsession for shiny things. It’s probably why they get along with those ungodly kobolds so well.

After exploring the plains we were about to head back to Oleg’s through the forest when we saw 4 more of those damn trolls again. While my protection can definitely help handle one of these gruesome beasts, there’s no way I could take on all 4. We then decided to explore the rest of the norther part of the forest, and hope these brutes wouldn’t cross our paths again.

It was here that we found the head of the skunk river. It turns out that part of the reason the river smelled so bad was that it was infested with giant frogs. After quickly dispatching these unworthy foes I decided that they didn’t present enough of a challenge, therefore they probably didn’t taste delicious.

After finishing our exploring we traveled unhindered back to Oleg’s post. When we got there, the rest of the group loaded up on the gear they purchased. Olio and the big dumb one apparently ordered new weapons, while the big dumb one got new armor (so hopefully he won’t be as squishy). I didn’t see Megil pick anything up, but I wasn’t paying that close of attention. After seeing what could happen to my friends when I’m not paying that close of attention in battle, I decided to order a CLW wand in case the druid decides to do something stupid.

I figured that Jhod might find my discovery of a statue to his god interesting, and it turns out that he did. He found it so interesting he wanted my protection, and to show him where the temple and statue were. I figured I still owed him one for fixing up Megil and the big dumb one, so I agreed. On the way the group wanted to see our fae friends again, which proved uneventful. Though, for some reason after our encounter Jhod was crawling with insects for a time. When we arrived at the temple Jhod decided he needed a bath, and he took it right in the fountain! I guess I’ll never drink from that water again, no matter how tasty it used to be. We almost had to pry Jhod away from the temple, he was starting his plans to restore this place for some reason.

When we arrived at the statue Jhod immediately started praying, and all of a sudden there was a flash of light. I’m not sure what that was all about, but I’m pretty sure Erastil was paying homage to my immense power. Jhod seemed satisfied with our trip at this point, and we made our way, uneventfully, back to Oleg’s.

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Game Night 13 (Nov 8th, 2012)
"I would love to see Cressel try her axes against Tabal!"

Well… I suppose this wish has been granted. ’Tis a shame the woman chose such an advantageous outcropping for our encounter. Watching a boulder-top minion stab Tabal in the neck (repeatedly) left something to be desired as he and Cressel hacked away at each other like barbarians. They both fell. Tabal lived…

I hope Tarquin does not feel used for his healing arts alone. That badger of his certainly knows how to open a vein. Aside from a near death experience with a shambling mound, the bear traps and tardy reporting of our ambushers, he sets a most excellent camp! Still, he conjures at least one of us back to the blush of health on a weekly basis.

Take our return trip to Oleg’s for example – Would the likes of this party take steps to avoid what Vistos described as a, what was it… a bear owl? Of course not! Any kind of bear – grizzlies, the magically possessed and now this – they will not survive our survey of the Greenbelt. Even if Tabal must be pecked half to death, Oligo’s arrows fly, my blade dances, Vistos… well, he must have been suffering some bad stew in his tiny gnome guts… and after it all, Jynx is gnawing out the beast’s thews while Tarquin picks up our pieces.

It turns out that Oleg suffered a scare from Rohn and Bergren who were spotted signaling from the holdfast walls. A quarrel ensued that lead to Bergren’s death and a noose for Rohn at the hands of Kesten and his men. Following our ambush, we suspected they were allied with the Stag. Perhaps this confirms it. To ease Oleg’s nerves we stayed on a few days. Our dear, sweet brigand somehow began a spat with Jhod. Fortunate for his gaping wounds, we had good news for the cleric.

When it came time to set out once again, Oligo had found a passion for the Stag Lord’s blood. That was all it took to rally Tabal before I reminded everyone about Oleg’s next wagons. New steel makes a strong impression on humans. Half of me agrees. So, the past days have been business as usual. Survivalists Tarquin, Oligo, Tabal and even Vistos (everyone, save for one genteel half-elf) forged a path towards un-surveyed forest. Perish the thought that I should ever find myself out here alone! Anyway, while exploring we came across that boar from Oleg’s wanted poster. When Tuskgutter came back to his bed we were waiting. The poor thing crumpled so badly against Vistos’ sturdy frame that a single scratch from each of us was enough. Our bloodlust must have been sated, because we somehow managed NOT to slay a lone boggard and his giant toad later on.

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Game Night 12: The one where we murder a bunch of bandits
Tarquin to finish

Tarquin to finish. Placeholder/

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Game Night 11 (10/25/2012)
One for the money

       We had to make trip after trip from the Kobold mine to bring up our reward. It was more money than any of us had ever seen and it was ours. You should of seen the shit-eating grins on all of our faces, you might have thought we just dipped our wicks.
       I was worried the horses weren’t going to make it back to Oleg’s with such heavy loads so we made a slow and deliberate pace back to the post. On our first night out we ran into Vekkel a solitary hunter. It musta been sometime since he last saw someone because he damn near talked Tarquin’s ears off. He had been much farther West than us and told us where to find Jhods’ Temple of the Elk. He also claimed a fearsome piece of bacon, Tuskgutter, was out that way. He stuck with us all the way back to the post.
       Oh boy!!! Was Oleg surprised in the morning when Tabal tactfully returned his spicy wife’s wedding ring. Suprised to the tune of 1,000 gp. Kesten eagerly badgered Megil, Vistos badgered Svetlana, and Jinx just badgered. There were a couple of new faces eating breakfast, Rohn and Bergren, who looked like hunters. They were quick to tell of us of unicorns to the West.
       We set off in the morning for the temple of Erastil to repay our debt to Jhod. Vistos was whining about something in the early morning but that ain’t nothing knew. Before we got to the temple, a Grigg and a Fairy Dragon, played some harmless pranks on us. Fortunately, we recongized the fairies before Tabal murdered them. Unfortunately, Tarquin did not wake us in the middle of the next night to meet an ambush party he heard. I don’t know what he was thinking not waking us. If we get ambushed, Tarquin, will have take a second look deep into his green soul. We were so close to the temple we decided to let the ambush party go.
       The temple was more secluded and overgrown than I envisioned. A big as sin grizzly bear was ready to eat us when we arrived at the footsteps of the temple. At least, I thought it was grizzly but the dang think disappeared after Megil slew it. Never seen anything like it.

Oligo
Final Thoughts…
What the in the hell I am going to do with all my gold? A problem i like having.

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Game Night 10 (Oct 18th, 2012)
About Damn Time!

If my comrades haven’t noticed my heritage by now, they probably never will. I drew my mother’s elven curve blade for the first time today. It remains too heavy for one hand, but with such large vermin about I can no longer rely on speed alone. The snarky gnome has even shown me how to redirect my arcane energies into each strike. He suggests lightening the blade with magic (if I still insist on such antiquated fighting styles.)

We returned to the old silver mine upon my recuperation to face Tartuk, stopping only to camp and successfully dispatch a pack of hungry wolves. Along with Mikmak, the party moved into the mine quietly enough for a moment of observation. At this point Vistos approached Tartuk as Chief Sootscale and his suspicious servitors made no motions to stop him. However, the uppity gnome’s attempts to close casting distance were interrupted as the shaman enchanted our strong right arm, Tabal. This time I was shocked to witness everyone bolstered by my legwork, for normally they politely look away. Even so, it was not enough for Tabal who fled in fear with brave Mikmak to look after him. The fray ended soon enough as Tarquin’s beast made the rounds and Oligo ended Tartuk’s life with one deft arrow.

It was folly as we suspected. The “cursed” kobold bodies revealed stab wounds and magical trickery that exposed Tartuk’s fraudulent statue. Unless you believe Vistos’ claim, none of us saw it coming when Tartuk reverted in death. He is, or was, a gnome succumb to madness as depicted in his own journals. I wonder if there is any further meaning to his particular choice of disguise…? Anyway, we left the kobolds their “treasure” and confiscated the crazy gnome’s valuables. I have spry new boots and my blade hit true. It was a good day.

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Game Night 9 (10/11/12)
It's just a flesh wound!

After I heroically saved Megil from his centipede situation, we decided to cross the chasm using the rope. The mites obviously didn’t find the first 2 humans to cross much of a threat, because they only decided to challenge us when I crossed. It turns out that my saving Megil was almost a waste, because he decided to dance his way to the front only to get his ass handed to him by a giant tick. After a minor personal setback that may have skewed my vision for a few seconds we were victorious over the mite leader.

After the battle we found this devil looking statue on a table. The curious thing is, after we found it Mick Mack cried out against his own leader. After my expert interrogation I found out that if were to dispose of this purple abomination we might be doubly rewarded. As an interesting side note, there doesn’t seem to be anything magical about the statue whatsoever. Also, on the table with the statue was a sheet of paper where the mites were keeping track of the spoils of war. It says the kobolds stole some magic dust, and a human ring that hopefully belongs to svetlana.

It was around this time that I remembered Megil was taking a nap, and decided to see if one of the potions we got was a healing potion. It turns out that one of them was, and I was able to revive him.

On our way back to collect our rewards we discovered Megil was diseased by that tick creature and was getting weaker every day. With no way to help him ourselves we rode back to Oleg’s to receive help from that cleric that was there last time. I doubt that he’ll ever be able to dance the same again.

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Game Night 8 (10.3.12)
Deals with Lizards and dealing with evil buleberries
Leaving the stink of the troll behind, we continued our journey, happily, uneventful for a couple of days. We came across a large, single tree in the middle of a clearing. The tree, itself, looked to be well past it’s good rings. It was noted that something else was moving near the tree. It looked to be infested with wild, evil blueberries known as Mites. We decided to avoid the tree for the time being, but we will probably come back to it. The following day, I spied an opening to what looked to be a mine. Inside the mine, there was another of the evil blueberries caught in a cage. I looked to free the creature when a Kobold popped it’s head around the corner. Upon seeing us, the rather pathetic creature tossed its spear down and begged to not be killed. We proceeded to parlay with the creature and found out that the mites had taken their statue of “Sharptooth” their god. Along with this, we found out that they are suffering from some sort of disease. We decided to help, with the promise of reward. The next day, we traveled back to the tree to search for the statue. We found an entryway tunnel into the tree. Our first encounter was a pair of the mites. They seemed to be shooting caltrops into the other one’s mouth and were eating them. We are not dealing with high intelligence here. Following the path further into the roots of the tree, we killed four more Mites and saved a Kobold named “Paddy-wack.” We climbed down further into the depths and came upon a chasm with vines to crawl across. Miguel decided to leap across it. As he jumped he was nabbed like a wide receiver (what?) by a large centipede. A battle ensued… and most of Miguel’s guts were spread across the ground… but we were successful.
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